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After a few ill-spent high school years on lj...then sporadic adult ones on blogspot...and a horrible, scarring encounter with Wordpress (really, does anyone enjoy that UI!?), I've run across dreamwidth! Oh, joy! I know how to use this sort of interface. I think. I seem to recall. I mean...yeahhhh.

I don't expect I'll post with any regularity, as I'm absolute shit at remembering to post (or having enough self esteem to consider what I'd like to say worthy to put out in the ether). And I can't say too much of it will be entirely cheerful. I desperately need an outlet for this new, wonderful, and exciting life thing I am going through called "Confronting the Fact I Have a Mentally Ill Parent and Was Emotionally Abusive, Trained Me to be Co-Dependent, and Somehow Was Simultaneously Neglectful"! SO HEY GOOD TIMES. That should be fun to spew on here, I do believe I'm burning my nearest and dearest out occasionally, and that's not fair. To the internet!
I'm also embarking on a whole therapy thing about all of that too, and expect to do some writing or work on that here. That tricky self-esteem business, oh my. It's rough to do, especially as a lady with a ladybrain. I've really got to write and build myself up and stop people pleasing or performing. I'm reasonably certain it won't destroy me if people disagree with, dislike, or don't approve of me. A place void of anyone I know should help work all of that out...right?

This is not to say I don't occasionally have some very humorous or insightful or silly happy things to say, I'm just saying my focus is working and detangling and venting and ruminating. Kind of like a grouchy conditioner.

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BeeMayhem

July 2012

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